I had such great intentions with this blog, I had all the things I wanted to write and I was going to write every day, publish every week, why not? I asked myself. Well looks like it didn't turn out like that.
I knew I wanted to write about everything in my life and share my photos and things I'd been doing. Now I'm using it to procrastinate, which until a few years ago I had no idea what it meant and just nodded along when anyone used it, then go home like what was that word again? What does it mean? I've come to the realisation that I'm totally clueless about a lot of things. I recently had a meeting with my dissertation supervisor and I was all full of beans and he was being so positive and so was I. Then the questions started coming... what's this like? You want to compare these topics, why, what's interesting, why's it different in another country, why did you pick there and not somewhere else? And I just sat there looking at him saying all the wrong things trying to think on my feet whilst looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Thing was, I didn't know, but I so desperately wanted to, and I wanted to impress him. I don't know whether I did but he chuckled and I nervously laughed and left a lot sweatier than when I'd walked into his very disorganised side of the office. (Andrew, if you read this, apologises but I'm blagging life and I admire your mountains of paper. When you told me it was difficult to write you wasn't kidding.)
Someone HELP ME!
I was so stressed that I've already turned so Bridget Jones is laughable. I drank £3 bottles of rosé and sat in bed with my blanket playing sad music on Spotify. To be interrupted all the god damn time by adverts may I add, I never knew 30 minutes to go as quickly as those glorious ad free half hours. The last 2 whole days I've listened to a Musicals playlist and sang my little heart out to Joseph, cried at Les Mis, danced to Mamma Mia, it's been an emotional rollercoaster of 3 hours and 19 minutes, that I seemingly don't get off of and just repeat constantly, I can go from the Muppets and Hairspray to Cats and Oliver. I might as well listen to Blood Brothers as well. It's a lot. Into the Woods also makes an appearance, and to be completely honest, I've tried to delete it, it won't leave, it's turning into a very traumatic experience. (If you'd like to join me or want a soundtrack to this post its 'Musicals HITS')
Also, my new 'just opened' bag of pasta fell out of the cupboard onto me, whilst I stood there helpless as a few hundred sticks of spaghetti fell onto me, the floor and made an impressive Kerplunk statute on my worktop. I'll insert a picture for your pleasure. Everyone laughed, make no mistake, I just looked at it and I couldn't stop it, I couldn't move, I've never felt as helpless as I did in that moment of hell.
(Not pictured - the hell that had ensued all over my nice clean floor, under chairs, in cupboards, in every nook and cranny possible. Also, that hob had just been on because I'd made very disgusting pasta for my tea, so as you can imagine I cursed till the sky was blue whilst I burnt every orifice of my body. Don't fool yourself into thinking it's easy to pick up, ever played Pick up Sticks? Buckaroo? Operation? The tension and stress swept over my body. The realisation that whatever happened I was always going to have a full bag of half floor, half sticky pasta, some a bit wet, and I have to deal with it. Myself. Alone. Adulting at its best people!
Sweet hell. That's what that was.)
This was the last straw of a terrible week of failures and kick started this Bridget episode I've found myself in. (The new film is great by the way) I'll promise to post more but let's be honest, it probably won't happen.
Until next time...
X.
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